Clarity, Part 1

I decided to focus on Wordy Sentences, Needed Words, Variety, and Parallel Ideas.

1) I thought it was interesting that the chapter suggested using simpler words in order to cut down wordy sentences. I always thought using professional word choice trumped shorting sentences. I think I can highly benefit from this chapter as I have a tendency to overuse words.

I thought it was interesting that the chapter suggested using simpler words in order to cut down wordy sentences. I always thought using professional word choice trumped shorting sentences. I think I can highly benefit from this chapter as I have a tendency to overuse words.

2) In the Needed Words section, while I wasn't certain what it would be about, I thought it would help me with wordy sentences. Instead, I just feel more confused about wordy sentences and needed words. The fact that both chapters are telling you to do two opposite things is confusing.

3) The Variety chapter was very similar to the Needed Words and Wordy Sentences chapters and helped me understand my confusion between the other two. I am always surprised at the number of rules there seem to be in English.

4) I chose to look at Parallel Ideas because I was curious about this topic; not necessarily because I thought I needed it. However, I found this chapter just as helpful as the others. For this essay, I think this is useful because we are doing a lot of compare and contrast within the subject we chose.

REFLECTION:

I learned a lot through my peers about the chapters I read. I found a lot of us use wordy sentences (I am not alone!) and that we can all use too many commas. I think I need to review my own paper for similar issues.

Taken from How Misconceptions Killed Kevin Carter, by Jess Gonzalez:
"Even after the devastating loss of his best friend, photojournalist Ken Oosterbroeck, who was killed on the day he’d been away to be interviewed about winning the Pulitzer, Carter did his best to live up to the much sought after prize he’d been awarded, adding weight to the pressure he was already under from the attacks from the public, some even calling him “inhumane” for failing to assist the child in the photo." - here is a great example of wordiness and long run-on sentences I found through my peer.

Taken from NASA Budget Cuts, by Aaron Jatana:
"He then explains himself by saying that the study of other planets is one of the most popular studies for young students in Astronomy today, and those are the people who won’t get projects funded for." - here is a great example of too many words that mean the same thing. "explains himself" and "by saying" are just too similar to be in the same sentence. There should be a better way to say this without such repetition.